To take complete advantage of my time away from work, I decided last minute to take my children on a little trip to Florida for a few days. Now, full disclosure, we're going to my parents condo so I'll have some help, but I'm currently in the middle of a long (loooong) stretch of just me and the kiddos all day, every day...24/7. I'm a previous working mom, so long stretches of 24/7 children has not been the norm for me. I would always get "breaks" at work, so SAHMs I will continue to solute you, as my time at home forges on.
Like all parents with small children, when ever I travel with the kids, the anxiety is sky high. You never want to be THOSE people on the plane, but after traveling with kids just once, you quickly realize you will be the people with a crying child, at some point in your life. Or multiple times. I have definitely been those people. It sucks. Traveling solo, I'm also a little anxious about keeping them entertained and well-behaved in a small space for a few days...and not losing my mind.
As the days have gone on, I'm so happy to say that it's been a great vacation. We've done lots of activities and kept the kids very busy. Both flights were pretty easy (THANK GOODNESS!) with plenty of snacks and the electronics always help, too. We have wonderful memories and everyone had a great time. Shockingly, (solo) mission accomplished!
I've realized without the stress of work, I have a ton more patience and appreciation for my children. Feelings I've never really had before if I'm being completely honest. I am learning so much about myself and my own behavior. As I wrap up my 3rd week at home, I think part of this journey is to figure out the type of mom (or person) I want to be and really focus on what it will take to get there. While the stress is low, the weather is getting better, and the joy is present, I need to figure it out.
I know I'm very very lucky to have the time to reflect, that I otherwise would never get and most women (or people) don't get. I don't know what the answer is, for how to give space in your mind, when you have no time (like NO time) to think about what you need to best function. Part of the reason for starting this blog was to try to help each other better cope together, as mothers or parents. I am still not exactly sure how the blog will play out, if at all, but for now, I feel like I'm learning a ton about myself. It's also a little bit therapeutic to write about my experience. Hopefully some of the things I learn can be helpful down the road to someone else, or possibly the future me. When my situation changes again going back to work, perhaps I will be a little more insightful on how to be better overall and the balance it will require.
Speaking of being better, next week I have to dig into my house list and make that a priority. I think I said that in last week's blog too....ugh. I am definitely a work in progress.